A video tutorial for Miss Cupcake/misscupcake. An example of English as spoken by a South African of Afrikaans or Boer descent. This was a spur of the moment ad-lib thing. Just happened to be wearing an orange T-shirt that day. Hence the Cheetahs. Have now pissed off about half a million big ugly aggressive Vrystaat rugby supporters. And their brothers. Incest — fun for the whole family. Eish. Talk about a Darwin award moment. Dom doos. (Translation: stupid er… box). If you don’t see another video from me it’s because I have been dealt a huge snotklap/poesklap.
Could just as easily have been one of the other Super 14 or Currie Cup teams like the Bulls or Stormers or Sharks or whatever. So please tell Kabamba Floors not to come and bliksem me. (Okay, now I must just try to somehow legitimately mention the Springbok wing Bryan Habana in this video description to ensure a huge increase in the number of views. Sorry, nope. Can’t think of anything relevant. Nor for biltong, braai, koeksister, piel, tiete, fanny, ass, booty or Zuma. So I’ll just leave it at that.)
Apologies for the low-brow campfire skit/skool Konsert quality of the humour.
I keep intending to do some intelligent, insightful, funny, witty, provocative, erudite stuff. You know: talking about evolution and polygamy and the psychology of politically-incorrect Siamese twins. And self-consciously ironic analyses of kinky vids with titles like “contortionist sex” and “Asian foot fetish” and “Paris Hilton with naked farm animals in close-up” and well… other stuff that should probably be left where it belongs, in my head.
(Yes, I know, farm animals are naked by default. If THEY had clothes on, that would be REALLY kinky.)
But that all takes time, and I’m a lazy bastard. So I end up doing this sort of shit when I have 5 minutes to spare. If you’re looking for intelligent humour, what the hell are you doing on YouTube?
I hope you find it funny anyway. My secretary pissed herself, if that’s any recommendation. There go her internet privileges. I’m the BOSS, dammit. No laughing!
So here I was, channelling Miss Koekie. She might end up reminding you of someone famous. Or someone you’ve met. Or someone you’ve had sex with. Hey, I lived in Pretoria for 6 years. A guy gets lonely. Okay, so she wasn’t quite as pretty or sexy as Miss Koekie, but she definitely had less facial hair. I think. Look, it was dark. I was drunk. It was a long time ago.
Ooooookay. Time to sign off, before I start embarrassing myself.
Names and faces have been changed to protect the ignorant people involved.
This video was filmed on location in South Africa, home to the famous Kruger Park, recently featured in a video which won the YouTube award for Best Documentary and got millions of views and comments. (The one with the battle between the lions, crocodile and the baby buffalo.) My accent isn’t nearly as stupid as the South African “Land Rover Jockey” in that one. Or the tourists, for that matter.